of mice and men
the other day, i noticed little things that i feel like i "have" to do before i can move on to the next part of the day. for example, i enjoy getting up in the morning, checking my email, cooking breakfast and watching the news. this is a cycle that i am in. i even go so far as to cooking the same exact thing for breakfast every day for weeks at a time. this kind of ability to create habits extends to the rest of my life, and it is not always good. some systems work beautifully and others cause disaster. even when i visit people, i create small routines that i operate from. at noah's house the other day, i decided to step outside for a few minutes in the morning to eat breakfast. what was NOT part of my plan was nearly stepping on a very dead trophy mouse that the cat had left for us. i seriously stood there for several minutes because this was, for some reason, rocking my little world. but anyway. right now, i am in process of breaking unhealthy cycles. and honestly? it's tough. really tough. one of the toughest issues in my life is learning when i have done enough and when it is ok for me to let something go. Patty Griffin says this wonderfully: "there's no mercy in a live wire, no rest at all in freedom/ of the choices we are given it's no choice at all/ the proof is in the fire you touch before it moves away/ but you must always know how long to stay and when to go" the progress is slow. the past week has been equally freeing and discouraging. i guess the best laid plans of mice and men do not always work out to be so smooth, but i'd rather the road be rocky and full of rich life than smooth and sedentary.
2 Comments:
So, where are you now, and what are your plans?
Love you.
Here here!
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