the gift that keeps on giving
i work with children on the autistic spectrum. I spend most of my time going to school with one particular small friend. It's so funny. I am supposed to be this influence of good and help him learn how to navigate through life, but usually the opposite occurs. I will be truly sad when he no longer needs servives. you see, both he and i have had a tough week. granted, since i am three times his age, we deal with different issues but i believe they are proportionately the same amount of pain. as i watch this amazing little boy struggle through the pains of growing up in a hard world, i can't help but relate to him.
last week in school we learned about morals in a story and proverbs to live by. ("slow and steady wins the race" was an overwhelming favorite among the students.) It can be hard to gage how much info kids soak up, but last week i experienced an especially heart melting situation. we were in gym class, and the assigned task was to balance in what is called a three point tip up. basically it involves forming a tripod with your head and hands while balancing your knees on your elbows for ten seconds. this is an activity that my client is physically not able to sustain. it by no means relfects on his cognative abilities or his willingness to try, however. I watched him try, fall, get back up, try again, fall again, cry a little, get back up and keep on trying. this went on for several minutes. it was all i could do to hold back tears. i suggested that he take a break if he needed to and told him that he was making great progress and i did not want him to get so worn out that he would get hurt. he just kept telling me that he couldn't quit now and that he just needed to keep trying. i told him i would stay right with him. "i will never give up! i know i can do it! i want to keep trying" was all that he said. what incredible determination. he did manage to make some improvements, but in the last 15 minutes of class was unable to master the skill to meet the satisfaction of the teacher. he fell again and wiped a tear off of his cheek with the back of his hand. he turned to me and whimpered "present failure will lead to future success!" He immediately got back on the mat and kept trying.
it was incredible.
i often think god interacts with me in the same way. he sees my struggles and watches me wrestle with life but allows it to occur because the lessons i learn are invaluable to me. he knows all the while that i really can not sustain it on my own...but he picks me up each time i fall and allows me to struggle again. it is actually quite beautiful.
my heart broke that day. but there was nothing i could do to help this little person. i had to just watch him and love him and allow him to learn. somtimes the lessons are difficult, but the process is the most important thing. you have to live through things to really understand them.
1 Comments:
That was an amazing read. I don't even know what to say about it except that's a really touching story. Amazing how pain & troubles are often proportional to what we can handle and often how old we are. You're a good person to want to put your energy into children who need help like that.
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