moving on
last night i had this inexplicable feeling of...? i don't really know. sadness, nostalgia, heartache, __________(your answer here). almost as though some part of me had moved passed and left me disjointed and unsettled.
i've always been on the move in some way because i've never felt like i've arrived. i was listening to a conversation with a few friends and realized that although i have made pittsburgh my home for the last two years, it doesn't entirely fit. some places and people fit for a period of time. then the season changes.
i wouldn't trade the last two years. or the last six, for that matter. but i've never felt connected to place strongly enough to, say, purchase a home.
let's face it. i didn't move to Pittsburgh because i was drawn to the city itself. from the very beginning, i knew Pittsburgh would not be home. it was sort of a temporary residence, a place for me to grow, to get ready. I'm just not clear exactly what it is that i've gotten ready for.
but i keep moving and shaking. i think i'm just about ready for whatever is next. i can feel it coming. the little hairs on the back of my neck feel prickly with anticipation. change is hard for me, but stagnant routine is worse. bring it.
1 Comments:
Hey Kat,
I love reading your stuff. It surprises me and yet it makes perfect sense. I'm glad you write it. I'm glad I can read it. And that's all I have to say for now.
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