the storm is passing over, hallelujah.
let me tell you about the plague. a week ago, my niece began to get sick. On wednesday i started to feel a little strange. by the time thursday night came around i had a full blown fever that lasted through most of friday. my little nephew had the fever on saturday. everyone in my house has a stuffy nose. we empty the trash on a daily basis due to the overflow of used tissues.in other news, i think i hit a milestone yesterday. it began with some small conversations about music blah blah blah and moved into some real brainstorming. it was nice to feel alive. i've felt a slight discomfort over the past several weeks while trying to determine what-precisely-i-should-be-doing in MA. the thing is, i left a great city and a great community where i was really happy and moved to a small (albeit beautiful) new england town where everything appears to shut down around 9:00pm (even some gas stations) and where my best friend is a book. i was worried about the move because i had serious doubts that i would find people i could "relate" to easily. in order to prevent this, i brilliantly set about doing absolutely nothing. silly, yes? it's as though i enter a bizarre la-la land where i imagine that meaningful relationships will mystically come out of the woodwork and materialize before my eyes if i sit around and talk to no one. ironically (and embarrassingly), several people have almost literally fallen into my lap. things are starting to take shape, and i have had nothing to do with it. there are people who have visions for change, people who are stretching my thinking, people who are not willing to settle. and strangely enough, they are everywhere...and they are interested in things i have to offer.
i think god interacts with people in different ways. with me, he's quietly dramatic. changes in my life are often huge, but i barely notice the change while it's actually going on. hind-sight's 20/20, and it reminds me that i am not in control. good thing, too. otherwise, i'd still be sitting around with no plans.
so it would seem that i am in recovery from two sicknesses: 1) sickness of body. a minor thing; an inconvenience--the common cold (with fever). 2) sickness of heart. this is much bigger. i could feel things shifting yesterday, and small shafts of light broke through the cracks.
i few months ago, i was convinced that moving to Ipswich was the right thing to do, i just had no idea why. now, the picture is no longer black. it became a fuzzy gray when i wasn't looking. so. i'm waiting for the fuzz to clear--in my sinuses; in my heart.
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