The Title is ______.

all's well that ends well

every night i sleep with my door closed. i have been doing this since i was little. maybe it has something to do with having trouble going to sleep unless it is totally dark. but originally i think i did it to keep the bad things out. i didn't want bad people to come or monsters to get me. somehow sleeping with the door shut made me feel safe.

perhaps that's why people talk about shutting something out or use imagery of God closing/opening doors in their lives. it is a way of building a protective barrier. Granted, God could close doors to keep me safe but doesnt always feel like that.

well, last night i left my bedroom door wide open. i think i left it open because somehow those bad things found their way into my room anyway. So what about God? did he let in those bad things in the first place or did he "slam the door" to protect me? all i know is that i feel abandoned by God (although my brother reminds me that God's faithfulness is not dependent on my momentary feelings on the topic). I feel unsafe.

anyway, I woke up this morning and decided to shut an emotional door really really hard in a desperate attempt to self-protect. it hurt.



...and it cost a lot.

posted by k.o. @ 5:38 PM