The Title is ______.

i am not typing on my ibook. i am on the computer at work which means i can italicize whenever i want. pretty cool, right? i think so. seriously i love my computer a lot. the only thing that sort of gets under my skin is that it is not always fully compatible with things like blogger. ah, well. it happens. i can also put things in bold print. unfortunately i dont have time to think of a really awesome post. i have to do my paperwork. have a great day.

posted by k.o. @ 11:16 AM 0 comments

what...?

i am taking a little break in a coffee shop on the south side and am casually interested in the history channel documentary about nostradamus playing on the TV. i've been thinking a lot about the future (specifically my own) and people's fascination with prophecy. i must admit, it is quite enticing--this idea of someone having the inside scoop. i mean come on. the guy seems to have predicted 9-11, Clinton's impeachment, nazi germany. i think people have this inner nagging fear of being left out. so something with possible answers and new secrets revealed seem pretty alluring. maybe it gives people a sense of security. he (nostradamus) appears to know what's going on so if i read his writings then i will know what's going on too. perhaps yes, perhaps no. i suppose when you look closely at his prophecies, they are a bit vague. nebulous even. you could easily take any given situation and find the "answer" if you looked hard enough. maybe the truth is that people are so starved for what is real that they create their own personal reality and then find the right sources that "support" this reality. people do this with the bible too. they get attatched to an idea and then find a labyrinth of codes within its pages that suddenly jump out at them. let's be clear before we go on: I believe that the bible is true. but isnt there a reason why god tells us that no one knows the hour or the day when christ will come again in glory? this must be for our own good. I was getting really into the nostradamus show before i realized (sheepishly) that i already possess enough of the "inside scoop". i know the future and the past that truly matter. As a Christian, i am privy to the truth made manifest in Christ, and prophecies fulfilled through his coming and redemptive work on the cross, and the promise of his future return. i love the rich imagery in the bible and i believe that we will never figure it all out. but if i am searching for what the future holds (even in the bible) but am more interested in the small details and lose sight of Christ, then i have missed the boat. i already have the prophecies that make a real difference. anything else (even if containing truth) just distracts from the main event. well, nostradamus? you were probably a really interesting fellow. but as for me, i'll bank on god's promises.

posted by k.o. @ 9:09 PM 3 comments

good night, sweetheart

well. it was time to go, and i went. no more shady side. no more ghetto giant eagle and whole foods. no more walnut street storefronts and bastone's auto repair shop. we did the finishing touches cleaning out the old place today. looks empty and surreal.

posted by k.o. @ 2:44 PM 2 comments

morning

first morning on magdalena street. i love it. it is a house, not an apartment building, and it makes a big difference.

posted by k.o. @ 10:05 AM 0 comments

haiku

swollen eyes and heart/ made tender from ev'ry blow/ drink now of deep rest/ stay the long journey/ return unbruised, unshattered/ wait not in anguish

posted by k.o. @ 9:16 PM 0 comments

aahhhhh.

feels good to be full, although eating passed that critical point sends me into food coma. this is where i currently find myself. happily, sleepily fat and sluggish. it also rained today, and the rain cooled the city. i sit on my bed and look out over the city as the sun grows dim and little lights start to flicker into place on the streets and in the buildings. my windows are open and the breeze delicately dances through my lamp-lit room carrying with it a message of new beginnings and strength for tomorrow.

posted by k.o. @ 9:08 PM 2 comments

alone in silence

i've been sitting by myself a lot this week. sometimes the solitude and quiet stillness is a comfort. sigh. today was a good day.

posted by k.o. @ 6:40 PM 1 comments

comedy of errors

my car is in the shop. again. a few hot tears just rolled down my cheek. i cannot afford any more time off of work. see, i only worked up til noon today and then took my car on an emergency trip to the shop around the corner from my house. a few minutes ago i walked back down to the shop and asked about the car's status. they told me it wont be ready til tomorrow sometime...which means i have to cancel another session pending the phone call which could come anywhere between 9-12. also, my afternoon client is on vacation. great. so for the moment, i am trapped inside my nearly empty old apartment without my paperwork and without a means to get around. i planned to spend time at the new place organizing things and what not, but plans have changed. i dont feel like i can take much more upheaval. at least i am breathing. that, at least so far, has remained constant.

posted by k.o. @ 4:38 PM 2 comments

pixie dust?

atchoo. my room is echo-y and tiny dust particles are still in process of settling from the weekend. my eyeballs have that dry, bleary sensation and there is this insidious tickle in my throat. plus i have a heat rash. but the good news is that my new room in the new apartment has five giant windows overlooking the south side and i'll be settled long before all that dust. i have great plans for my new bedroom; the last two months in pittsburgh will be spent complete with a yoga/prayer station and a designated "music stuff" corner. aaah. space. (not the final frontier. the breathing kind.) it really HAS been a long time since i have had a large enough personal area that i actually WANTED to spend time in it. it is true that you can't always get what you want. but oh! those glorious days when you finally get what you need! i've been feeling mentally cramped for quite some time as well and this might give me just enough room to physically and figuratively stretch out. in the meantime, where is that magic wand? the old apartment could stand a once-over with some decent magical cleaning powers.

posted by k.o. @ 11:11 PM 1 comments

and yet

this week has been tremendously difficult for me. i feel...blank. like the title of my blog. there are a lot of things going on but they are hard to differentiate between. sort of a rollercoaster. On top of this, i am in between apartments. half of my belongings are in the new place on the south side and the other half remains in shady side. i spent most of my evening on the floor of my new place because it had more windows. right now it feels critical to get as much natural light as i can. i did not get enough sleep this week as it is and woke up several times last night. there are about five people whose phone calls i need to return. i dont have enough money to pay my bills. my clients cancel more that i can afford. i charged $500 dollars for a major car repair. and yet...the lord is gracious and compassionate. he is always exactly on time. my soul waits for the lord more than watchmen wait for the morning.

posted by k.o. @ 7:28 AM 1 comments