freaking awesome.
ok i realize that probably noone cares about my niece as much as my family but here are some more pictures. indulge me.
personally i think the first one is the funniest. peace.
blast
i have got to figure out a way to sleep in. i cant really stay up late because then i just wake up early in the morning anyway. EVEN WHEN I PLAN TO SLEEP IN. dang it. dang dang dang. but i have a spring in my step and a song on my lips. let's face it folks. i am totally cheesy. i am cheesy and sentimental and i totally dork out on music. i am a nerd in artist's clothing.
yeah.
i have a splitting headache. i have not particularly slept well the last several nights because my brain is full and tight like a waterballoon. this is because there are so many unexpectedly solid and calm thoughts swimming around in there. ahh. life is sweet. actually sweet and salty. if you add the word "salty" it evokes better imagery: food, senses, aromas....y'know, LIFE. so yeah. i guess you might say life is good. scratch that. life is great. my life is great--great and salty. yeah.
the sky, in fact, has not fallen. nor will it.
the other day i was at work with my darling little clients. these tremendous little people are the best parts of my life. so anyway we had play time with the kids (about ten of them) and i set out these toy gears that you build things with. two of the boys spontaneously invented a song that went something like this: Gears are fun!/ Gears are Great!/ Build and build!/ I just can't wait!/ basically the moral of this post is that in a certain sense, my heart pretty much sang that song all day. kudos to any of you who know whatever the hell i am talking about. i love you dearly. no for real. you are the color in my life, and together we happily make sky mosaics with the little forgotten pieces of life.
help help! the sky is falling!
it has most definitely been an everything at once kind of week. "A" of all, i have an illness. again. i wonder if my imune system was weakened by my short bout with mono this past summer. you would think that enough time would have passed by, but current evidence points to the contrary. honestly i think my body is telling me to slow-the-freak down. i seem to have this inability to set aside the time to assess myself. engage in personal reflection. that sort of thing. i undervalue its importance to the degree that my physical self eventually is forced to yell ENOUGH and shuts down. for like a week. i am on day four of the shut down. unfortunately (for my body) i had about a million things to do in that time. i know it always works out in the end, but it is the in between time that makes me nervous. oh yeah, and i lost my voice completely. not good. on the other hand, it could be a tangible way of god telling me to be still. stop running around. to be quiet and listen. stop squawking that the sky is falling and figure out what is really going on. see, the way i roll, i go months at a time with this GO GO GO mentality and then i have this HIT THE BRICK WALL week where everything from the past year hits me all at once. chicken little got hit with one acorn. i get pelted from all sides by angry apple trees straight out of the wizard of oz. so here we go. put up your dukes, show me what you got (i'm just along for the ride). its like taking a week long intensive course instead of spacing it out over a semester. i never walk smoothly through life's journey. it is more like i have these incredibly painful growth spurts. nothing gradual here. even my relationships are ironed out in this unbelievable whirlwind of intense interactions resulting in a calm-after-the-storm phenomena. then i push the restart button and give the next few months a go. chicken little never had it so good. the biggest deal in his life was an acorn (and he got eaten in the end). it's the easiest thing thing in the world to save face and push through life. the greater challenge is finding the strength to be weak. i say, bring out the wolves! from this position of forced weakness, i am finally poised to take on the worst. chicken little thought he had to save the world. silly little chicken. it isnt about you. the story is so much bigger than that. can't wait til i figure out that the world does not need me to make sure it still goes 'round. i've got to learn how to tell the big deals from the not so big ones. i feel feverish. time to medicate the malady (body or soul? both, methinks.)
Dear John
consider this my ten page letter. consider this my tribute to the way things were and my acknowledgement of what they have become.
two friends
once lover and friend/
clasped hand to hand through the night/
with tender tears shed/
she is longing for/
the once-more coming of day/
do not awake her/
see now, she smiles/
she is dreaming of the past/
and of the future/
breathless, he watches/
and holds fast the last vigil/
honoring days gone/
sharp eyes and soft brow/
he will not come to save her/
the time has now passed/
in the shadows
the shadow lounge is very close to my heart. some of the best people make it their home on wednesdays. i look forward to it each week, schedule my life around it and rarely miss going. when i do have to miss a day, i think about it the whole time i am not there. it is a place to feel safe among people that care...good people, good drinks, good music, good times. good living. there were a few people there last night who confided to me that they could not believe they had not been there before. i couldnt believe it either. i cant remember life without it. much love.
my apologies.
so i posted my word-cloud several days ago and neglected to tell you where it came from. let me now rectify the situation. go to http://snapshirts.com/custom.php and just dont order the tee shirt. unless of course you want to. you can probably just click and drag the image directly onto your desk top. ok so here it is again.
thats about all. enjoy. spread the love. always the love. specifically to one DP. yeah, she's just that cool.
in the evening
last night i sat on my porch swing for several hours listening to distant thunder. i listened and listened and thought about a conversation i had the other day. i was talking to a friend (who loves me dearly) on the phone and asked him a pretty difficult question. i must admit i was surprised that he was not even remotely thrown off. in fact, he responded with an incredibly high degree of grace and compassion. (did i mention it was his birthday?) it's funny--some things you just know and some things you need to be reminded of. i guess you could say he reminded me of myself. he is actually coming to visit briefly this weekend. there are a few people who simply feel like home to me and he is one of the best. the reason he is one of the best is that he has this unusual streak of actual unconditional love. it is fierce and untame, but it is THERE, and that is what counts. at least for me.
hip hip hooray?
tonight at yoga i was all hip hip but no hooray. i couldnt find a balance, my body felt like one side was shorter than the other...the best way i can describe it is that i felt wavy. or crooked. it was the most non-calm night in a while. i suppose you win/lose some but i admittedly expect to be a winner if i go to yoga. BUT. then i went to the shadow lounge. at least my SOUL feels more aligned than my body does now. going to SL is like doing musical yoga. i did not play my best, but it doesnt really matter there. everyone loves everyone else. a friend hopped up on stage with me and added some sweet cello lovin to one of my newest songs and i think it worked. it was like a breath. but i digress. truth is, i'm beat. bed has called my name several times and it is time for me to respond. farewell.
worth a thousand words
this is a word cloud designed from my blog. i think it looks HOT
water to my soul
there is something life-giving to me about losing myself in a club with wall to wall people. i spent last night at an amazing show. i love being right up at the edge of the stage close enough that i could touch the musicians if i simply reached out my hand. I feel a deep connection with the people around me--the music as the connective tissue. often i enjoy going to a show with a friend, but there are times when i want to listen to the music alone or at least with people i do not know. because for those moments, the only common ground is the music itself. i want to completely immerse myself in it, riding the wave, allowing it to move me. sometimes if i am around people i know it can distract me from the full experience. but it can depend on the type of music. i prefer listening to singer-songwriters in the comfort of a closely knit community. music is an incredibly powerful medium. it affects me in so many different ways. i suppose that is why i love it so much. it allows me to express the full range of my soul.
my my
wish i was back in prague.
personally i think the first one is the funniest. peace.
thats about all. enjoy. spread the love. always the love. specifically to one DP. yeah, she's just that cool.
