My Car
this is a picture of a car identical to my own. it is not my actual car. my actual car has never been against such a stunning backdrop.
let me now tell you a little story about my actual car.
as you may recall, my car and i have gotten into several disagreements over the last year. last night, as i was driving home, the loud "ding" of the engine light jolted me into fight-or-flight mode. i pulled over. turned off my car. waited a few moments. restarted the car. on came the engine light.
now, as some of you may well know, i am not a big risk taker. but i also really hate having to call AAA. i decided to risk it and drove the remaining two blocks to the mechanic's lot (the SAME MECHANIC my car broke right outside of a few weeks ago. providence is on my side).
anyway, i called ian and emily and asked them to pick me up so that i would not have to walk home in the dead of night. they agreed.
i forgot to leave my key in the drop box because i was tired and it was late and i had not been planning on going to the mechanic's. this morning i walked back to the mechanic and gave him my key.
he called not too long ago and gave me the estimate. it isn't too bad. it's a computer board issue, not a major engine issue. i should have the car back before too long. and honestly? i really just need the car to keep working for another 8 weeks. just until the move. then i can go from there.
immediate ramification of car in shop? i am not at work. i can piddle around the house. i have no plans.
sometimes i think god gives me minor "set backs" with my car so that i have a forced day of rest. on occasion, it is needed. i just wish it did not cost money...
on some level it must be good for me. i can never get too comfy, too secure.
ATTENTION!!!
please come. i would dearly love to see you.
nobody knows de trouble i seen
...nobody knows but jesus.
***
i am fairly troubled this morning. i spent the whole night tossing and turning, battling one bad dream after another. what sparked this? well, a blog entry by a most dearly beloved friend. i won't go into specifics, but i'll say that it was sobering. i spent a good hour on my knees last night before bed.
i am concerned about the state of the church today. sometimes it frightens me. there are days when i only feel a sense of hopelessness. in these moments, it is difficult to keep myself centered and grounded on the Truth. The Truth that God ultimately is in control and i am not. That Jesus sought after the sinners and the lost causes. That he continues to do so. That the people who do the most heinous of things are in most need of a savior. That they should spark compassion in me.
Here are lyrics to a song by Sufjan Stevens. The song is about John Wayne Gacy Jr., a serial killer in the '70's who murdered 33 boys and men and buried 27 of them beneath his house. (look on Wikipedia for more details) Surly this man is the worst of the worst, right? well read through to the last stanza.
his father was a drinker
and his mother cried in bed
folding john wayne's t-shirts
when the swingset hit his head
the neighbors they adored him
for his humor and his conversation
look underneath the house there
find the few living things
rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
twenty-seven people, even more
they were boys with their cars, summer jobs
oh my god
he dressed up like a clown for them
with his face paint
white and red
and on his best behavior
in a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
he'd kill ten thousand people
with a sleight of his hand
running far, running fast to the dead
he took off all their clothes for them
he put a cloth on their lips
quiet hands, quiet kiss
on the mouth
and on my best behavior
i am really just like him
look beneath the floorboards
for the secrets i have hid
that's the truth. Have we forgotten that our hearts are just as dead on the inside? when we move into an Us/Them mentality, the battle is lost. anyway.
the dog whisperer
i have a confession. you know how i don't really like dogs? well it's true. i do, however, think that the TV show "the dog whisperer" is extraordinary. the man is unbelievable. i am almost persuaded that dogs are cooler than i used to think.
Illias the Dog
illias the dog is my favorite animal of all time. he is the greatest snuggly thing. he is also super friendly.
i am not a dog person. i actually love cats. but illias has managed to overcome my dog prejudice and wiggle his way into my stone cold heart.
gus also lives in our house. he is an adorable dog too. i do not love him as much as i love illias. but i have no guilt about this...you are allowed to play favorites with animals. i might as well have a favorite animal and not a favorite child, right? of course, right. anyway, gus and i ignore each other more often than not.
well, enjoy your day!
oh yeah...
i forgot to tell you that last night i played mexican dominos with ian and emily. that game is really fun...except for when you don't ever draw an eleven and are not able to lay down your train. then you wind up with like a hundred points. the damned elusive eleven situation occurred three times. those of you that have played this game know how it is.
hum de dum
1). i had two days off of work this week. last week, i also had two days off of work. actually, due to parent teacher conferences and holidays, i have only had one full week of work since christmas/new year's vacation.
2). i only get compensation for the actual number of hours i work.
3). this is bad news for the bank account.
but it's ok. things always work out in the end. plus, i got two whole days to work on my hair and watch tv. sometimes it's nice to have days where you can just sit around.
it's official.
the CDs are sitting in my room. they look (and sound) great. can't wait for all of you to come to my cd release party on saturday feb 24th 8pm @shadow lounge and buy one (special discount cd release night only). promise.
stories of doomed love
I am currently listening to This American Life. The topic is
Star-Crossed Love. In honor of Valentine's Day, they decided to do a show about non-romance/doomed-romance. Actually, it is fairly interesting.
Romance, schmromance. Some friends of mine in College used to call Valentine's Day
Single's Awareness Day. So true.
Anyway. when i think about love? I think about my niece running through a field last year. that, THAT is something that i love.
oh. and another thing
there are some intriguing ice-crystal formations on my window. quite magical. i would post a picture, but i have no camera. too bad for you.
an update
my car is fine. it only cost $36 for the repair. also, my car was ready in an hour and a half. crazy how it all works out in the end.
in other news, my actual CD has not arrived at my house yet. but i have been in contact with "the guy" and they should arrive in plenty of time for my CD release show.
(Having a CD available for sale at a CD release party is encouraged.)
I am starting to feel excited. i love music and people so much. i spent a lot of time on the artwork, so hopefully people will like it.
when hell freezes over
if there were ever a day where hell indeed would freeze over, this would be the day. never in the whole course of my life have i experienced such temperatures.
let me tell you about my morning.
- i woke up and accidentally kicked illias the dog. he was sleeping on my bed.
- i answered a few emails.
- i checked people's blogs.
- i did paperwork.
now, paperwork is due on tuesdays by 11.
"no problem" i think to myself. "i will simply finish my paperwork by 9 am, go to yoga at 9:30 and still have time to drop paperwork off by 11."
here is what happened.
- i finished up paperwork
- i drank a glass of OJ
- put on yoga clothes
- tied my shoes
- put on winter coat
- put wallet and keys in coat
- put on scarf
- said goodbye to illias the dog
- went outside to my car
- started car
are you still reading? if not, pay closer attention to this part.
- let car warm up for a few minutes
- drove out of driveway
- drove to end of street, turned right
- drove one block
- heard strange and loud sound
- felt car jiggle and bounce
- pulled into mechanic's lot which happened to be on my immediate right
- got out of my car
- looked at passenger side tire
- found tire completely flat and coming off of car.
well. at least i was at a mechanic's.
- found mechanic
- told him my tire was coming off
- he said "let's take a look"
- we walk to my car
- he literally takes a step back and involuntarily exclaims "whoa!"
- i die a little on the inside
as it turns out, things like this happen in the cold cold cold cold cold cold weather. (whaa...?)
so i walked home.
let it also be known that the wind chill factor is currently -15 degrees celcius. just kidding. fahrenheit.
allow me to remind you that i am only wearing thin yoga pants because i did not plan on spending more than 45 seconds in the great outdoors.
and although i live very close to the mechanic's, it is still a healthy ten minute walk back to the house. and in that small amount of time, i nearly lost all fingers and toes. i kid you not.
my fingers were aching with an unbelievable pain as they warmed up inside my house. that's how cold it was. plus i had gloves on and had my hands in my pockets of my coat while walking, so you do the math.
i have now been home for twenty minutes. thankfully i lived to tell the tale.
what a crappy day.
here is another quick pic. i'm gonna work on it more, maybe change the background image, but i like the idea.
oh, the wonders of photoshop. where
has the time gone?
this is a picture of my eyes. as you can see, i have wasted much of my evening playing on photoshop. this is the part where i say that i wish my eyes actually looked like this in real life. sadly, they do not.
CD RELEASE!!!
CD RELEASE SHOW CD RELEASE SHOW CD RELEASE SHOW!!!!!!!!
Saturday February 24th at The Shadow Lounge in East Liberty (pittsburgh)
i would love to see all of your smiling faces there.
don't let me down.
